Passover is a holiday that celebrates freedom
This is a difficult time to be pregnant. I know there are changing rules about who can be on your support team and some folks are birthing by themselves, with very limited medical or other support. I wanted to write this message as we approach the holiday of Passover to offer strength and solace to pregnant people and their partners right now.
This is your wilderness. Welcome. It’s a beautiful and difficult and rewarding journey.
The Exodus story is about people fighting for freedom and then wandering through a wilderness until they get “delivered” to the Promised Land. You are, right now, engaged in a kind of wandering through the wilderness, as we all explore new terrain for best practices for birth during a pandemic. The baby will be seeking a passage to “freedom,” joining us here in our world. And we often speak of babies as being “delivered” too.
Remember the women who came before you.
The Exodus story starts with a birth. Yocheved, Moses’ mother, is being attended by two skilled midwives, Shifrah and Puah. They know they are to kill the first born child of this woman, but they do not. They resist. Moses is delivered (or caught) by these two brave women and then handed to his mother. Even later when he is being raised in the Pharoah’s palace, Yocheved acts as his “wet nurse.” The story is full of women breaking rules and kicking ass. And you’re going to kick ass too during your birth. Your body knows what to do. Many have done it before you, and the wisdom of generations of mothers and midwives lives in you.
When I was pregnant I had a Jewish midwife and she told me that she was once in a birthing room with a woman, her mother and her mother-in-law. She said “the three women in this room are all Jewish Women who have given birth. It wasn’t easy. But we did it. It’s not easy for you now, but you will do it too and you will join our ranks.” That birth went beautifully.
Transitions are never easy, in fact they are the hardest part
Thanks to Kohenet Annie Matan for recently reminding me that the moment of labor called “transition” is the hardest part. It’s when people often say “I can’t do this” and then, moments later, the baby is born. We are all in a hard transition now but beautiful things are being born from it, including people reaching out in kindness, new systems of social support, and more. In the Exodus story, the parting of the Red Sea is often read as similar to a birth — the opening of a watery passageway. That transition from slavery to freedom is hard-won but it is gorgeous. As you transition to being a mother or parent, you will find yourself surrounded by newness. It will be beautiful.
The Whole World is a Narrow Bridge
When I was about to give birth I mediated on the niggun (tune) “kol haolam kulo gesher tzar me’od” - meaning “the whole world is a narrow bridge. It continues, “veha’ikar lo lefached klal” - meaning “and the main thing is not to be afraid.” Of course, it is natural to experience some fear in childbirth, especially now. But the more you can fight fear with courage, with surrendering to what is, with letting go of expectation, the more you will experience relief. We are all walking a narrow bridge right now, but Jews have been through a lot in our history and we have come to the other side. So will you.
Draw on tradition
I help people build Jewish-inspired birth plans with Jewish birth art as focal points, cultural teachings, affirmations, meditations, songs, rituals and practices. There is a lot out there that can nourish and support you during your pregnancy and birth. I’m happy to speak to you if you want to know more. You can also visit: https://www.jewishdoula.ca/ to find out more.
Wishing you a beautiful Passover!
However you may be marking it this year, I hope the holiday provides you with meaning, beauty, joy, and inspiration as you head towards your own birth/rebirth. Exodus is the story of a birth of a people, and you are helping to further birth our nation now. It is sacred and beautiful. In the hardest moments, picture me, picture millions of women before and around you, breathing with you. You got this.
